f k your 10 euro water slider

F*** your 10€ Water

Its hot! Its important to keep hydrated, even more important when you are working up a sweat dancing for hours on end.


This is made difficult when, after paying €50 for entry to a club, you are expected to pay €10 for a bottle of water. Dehydration can cause dizziness, confusion, palpitations or fainting. It is unjust that only people with enough euros in their pockets to buy enough fruit and vegetables to feed a small family can afford to have a drink of water.

It is unlikely to that the super clubs in Ibiza are going to lower there prices any time soon so an alternative must be found. Thankfully, there is somebody on the island who found a solution.

You cannot bring your own drinks to the club but even the most stern of security could not refuse entry with a one of your five a day in your pocket. But which fruit or vegetables are most suitable for a night on the tiles?

Carrots: A trip to Ushuaia with a pocket full of carrots would be the test. They fit in your pocket and taste good. They are full of vitamin D to help you see in the dark (this may help you avoid waking up with someone who doesn’t look so good in daylight). Unfortunately, carrots leave a rather dry mouth and are not the best substitute for water.

Cucumber: A long hot night in Space was next with cucumber packed away. Despite being patted down by security, entrance with a cucumber in pocket is no problem. For once it was the security man who looked the more nervous on feeling the contents of my pocket. The clean crisp taste of the cucumber was very refreshing. Despite a few puzzling looks from fellow clubbers the new thirst quencher was successful.

Tomato: A rather embarrassing trip to follow. A soft red fruit is not though enough to withstand all the giggling and gyrating that is involved in a typical Ibiza night and such a stain on your trousers is difficult to explain away.

The verdict is that a cucumber, at a cost of around 30 cent is far more economical way of staying hydrated.

You can f*** your €10 water, I´ll have a cucumber instead!

tested and written by Lorcan Kelly